Graduation

I just finished the revised version of The Mercenary Artist's Manifesto.

I forced myself to celebrate.

I'm polishing my marketing plan.

But...

Now what?

I have stated that the measure of success is not how your work is received, but in completion.

But there is another problem.

Starting the next one.

It's not that I don't have ideas. I have more than IU could ever make.

It's not that I am exhausted physically. (although, I am).

The problem is in letting go.

The problem is admitting that I am in a new phase in my life.

The problem is Graduating.

I identify as an artist. If asked, I can list the projects I'm working on.

But it is to easy to define me as someone working on this project. As someone struggling. As a striver.

Truthfully, there are probably moments when I sabotaged myself because I identify too much as someone taking the journey and not enough as someone who has accomplished things.

No wonder I find it hard to celebrate.

Self help advice always talks about enjoying the journey.

And you should.

But not so much that you never let yourself arrive at your destination.

So today I have graduated.

I'm still going to study and learn. But I'm realizing that I have to think of my studies as "Continuing education", so that I don't sacrifice my life to remain a perpetual student.

Next week I will record the audio version of the book; but after that?

I will begin my final work on finishing my film Ridgecrest.

Not as a student, but as a craftsman.

Schools out.

Thanks for making art.

Edward Janis