The Backup Plan

Today I'm pondering something that has creeped into my life.

The backup plan.

When you are 16 and adults in your life tell you to have "something to fall back on" it's easy to rightly discount this as a sure means to fail at what you want.

But now, the adults have snuck into my brain.

How?

I had a kid. Living off of hot dogs and being a "Starving artist" doesn't really go hand and hand with good parenting.

so, unconsciously; I have let creeping adult thoughts sneak into my brain.

Here's the thing. I would be an irresponsible parent if I couldn't provide my child with the basics of survival. I am not advocating for a mother of three to quit her job immediately so she can pursue her art full time.

But I am advocating a mental shift.

So I'm working to support my family and also shooting a film. The work is fine, but boring and does not satisfy me.

Here is the danger: "You know, you have a marketing certificate. Maybe you can get a marketing job while you work on your film, or maybe get a job as a wedding videographer, etc."

Now there is nothing wrong with either of those jobs. However; right now all of my basic needs are taken care of and I have time to work on my film. Spending time job searching, training, etc. will take time away from what I love to make the day to day slightly better.

What if I spent that extra time making my movie better, or getting it done quicker, so that I only need to make movies?

Why is that not the obvious choice? Because I've somehow internalized the idea that making money with movies is hard. This is a weird belief to have. Entertainment is a multi billion dollar industry. I have made money performing. Hell, the last film I produced made money; it just ended up in the hands of other people (hire a lawyer to look over your contracts my friends).

Nevertheless, this stupid belief remains. The stakes are higher now and I got scared.

So I apparently have a new task. Focusing on monetizing my art instead of finding new ways to subsidize it.

If you see me breaking this, please hold me accountable.

Thanks for your time,

Edward Janis Gusts